Thursday, January 15, 2009

An Excerpt from "The Adventures of Ted Johnson: One Man's Crusade against the Decline of Morality

Ted stared into the eyes of the Herb, the evil screenwriter. “You don’t realize how much your show hurts the human race.”

“But it doesn’t, Ted! Sex, drugs, and violence are the most entertaining things around. What harm does it do if someone watches on TV?”

“I used to think the same way,” Ted stifled back tears, “Until I saw my five year old son kill his mother in cold blood. You don’t realize the damage you’re doing, Herb! Not until you see first hand the lives you’re ruining! The families destroyed! The dreams crushed!”

“You’re so hasty to blame everything on television, Ted. The truth is that these so called immoralities have no effect. Have you considered other reasons for your son’s behavior? Maybe he was possessed by the devil? Maybe he’s just a horrible child. Or maybe,’ He gave an evil grin, “It was bad parenting.”

“I am not a bad parent!” He got up from his chair and punched the wall

“No need to get all worked up, Ted. Parenting is a hard thing.”

“I’m tired of your games, Herb! You know that you killed my wife and you know that you destroyed my son! You just are too cowardly, too evil, too morally corrupt to admit that. Your TV shows may seem harmless, but the sex, the drugs, the violence - It does something to us. Something that makes us start killing relentlessly. All this killing has to stop!”

“Look, I think you’re failing to understand that---”

“No, you don't understand!” Ted took a small moment to regain his breath. “Do you see this fist?” He pointed to his left fist, “I like to call it Morality. And this fist,” he pointed to his right fist, “is called Justice. And do want to know what Morality is telling me.”

Herb stared at the fist coolly, “What?” He asked.

“It’s telling me that you have an appointment with Justice. And your late”
Herb opened his mouth, as if to say ‘You don’t have the guts,’ but he was interrupted by Ted’s battle cry.

“FOR GREAT JUSTICE!” As Ted’s right fist flew towards Herb’s face, a bright light emerged from its tip. The snap of Herb’s skull shattering was quickly interrupted by a fizz as pure justice disintegrated Herb into a pile of ash. Ted kissed his fist and uttered his signature phrase. “You can’t run away from justice” He then left the room.
______________
This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, and William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden. This week's theme: 'Vice'.

1 comment:

Yarjka said...

This is your best writing yet. I'm very impressed.