clolism

And Zijjo said let there be clols and various text that made him clol appeared

Oh Snap!

Reporter: Which muscles do you mainly strengthen
Body Builder: I workout all my muscles
Reporter: even your cheek muscles?

False Advertising

So PAM is used to make things not stick to the pan. So why does it make your sandals sticky when it gets sprayed on them?

Bear pact

Some of you may have heard of a kid being killed by a bear recently. Don't let this make you think all bears are ruthless tyrants over the woods killing children as they please. Bears resigned this barbaric ritual long ago.

It used to be a favorite pastime of bears to kill children. But them humans invented weapons. Not only could the humans now fight back but it also proved to the bears that humans were intelligent enough not to deserve to be killed. So they made a pact to not kill any children or adults for that matter.

But not all bears follow this pact. This rare despicable bears are shunned by bear society once they break the pact. It may have been to the killer bear's benefit that people hunted him down and shot him. For a bear without friends is a miserable bear, indeed.

What a loser

The humor of the situation is that the man has no face.

A sad story

Once there was a princess who was in love with a frog. Every day she sat by the pond and pondered about its dashingness, hoping that the frog would one day approach her and tell her he loved her. This eventually happened. The frog also added that it was once a prince, but a curse was put on him and the only way it could be broken was by a princess's kiss. The princess gladly kissed him. The frog stayed the same and the princess died because the frog's skin was poisoned. The frog let out a big laugh and hopped into the sunset, ready to find new ponds where there were new princesses to kill.

If only

John Moore: Oh my god, J-Rock is flying.

wouldn't it be awesome if he actually said this and J-Rock was in fact flying.

Chiltingham knock off

A conversation came to me in my head and I saw that it was awesome

Tim: Dude, this burger tastes like God
Joe: Are you making some bad metaphor of how good it tastes?
Tim: No, its about average as far as burgers go... it just tastes like God
Joe: As in the deity?
Tim: Yes
Joe: And if you somehow killed God and cooked him he would taste like this burger?
Tim: Yes
Joe: Here let me try.
he bites into the burger
Joe: Dude, this tastes like...
Tim: God?
Joe:...yeah