What a loser

The humor of the situation is that the man has no face.

A sad story

Once there was a princess who was in love with a frog. Every day she sat by the pond and pondered about its dashingness, hoping that the frog would one day approach her and tell her he loved her. This eventually happened. The frog also added that it was once a prince, but a curse was put on him and the only way it could be broken was by a princess's kiss. The princess gladly kissed him. The frog stayed the same and the princess died because the frog's skin was poisoned. The frog let out a big laugh and hopped into the sunset, ready to find new ponds where there were new princesses to kill.

If only

John Moore: Oh my god, J-Rock is flying.

wouldn't it be awesome if he actually said this and J-Rock was in fact flying.

Chiltingham knock off

A conversation came to me in my head and I saw that it was awesome

Tim: Dude, this burger tastes like God
Joe: Are you making some bad metaphor of how good it tastes?
Tim: No, its about average as far as burgers go... it just tastes like God
Joe: As in the deity?
Tim: Yes
Joe: And if you somehow killed God and cooked him he would taste like this burger?
Tim: Yes
Joe: Here let me try.
he bites into the burger
Joe: Dude, this tastes like...
Tim: God?
Joe:...yeah

*gasp*

I've made two posts in one day! How could I do such a blasphemous thing to the name of blogging? People shouldn't have more than one thought to post. It just shouldn't happen. But now I'm ranting, so I'll leave you to be.

Crap I just realized this makes three posts in one day. *slams head on keyboard.*

I'm so misunderstood.

No one understands the subtlety of my humour.

Immune System Cancer.

I'm sorry to say that you have Immune System Cancer (ISC). ISC is a dreadful disease that well... turns your white blood cells into tumours. If ISC goes unnoticed the tumours grow so large that they make the infected spontaneously explode in a very painful death. Fortunately for you, you do know about it and you can be able to prolong the inevitable (Because if you don't die of something else first, you will spontaneously explode.) In order to help prolong the inevitable I have made a list of dos and don'ts

Do...

... become fat. A larger body can hold larger tumours. Now this may bring up other help problems, but you'll probably spontaneously explode before that will be much of a problem

... get sick a lot. While they are tumours white blood cells still do their job. Well they fight off germs they won't grow. And if the germs are particularly bad, they might make the white blood cells shrink a little. You can get sick and become fat at the same time. Just make sure all the fatty foods you eat are particularly dirty and infested with germs.

Don't...

... get AIDS. You think that since AIDS weakens normal immune system it would weaken infected ones. This however is not the case. In actuality the HIV mimics the white blood cells and becomes tumours. This results in near instant explosion

... become anerexic. Since this is the direct oppisite of "Do become fat." I don't need to say much. Just don't do it.