Immune System Cancer.

I'm sorry to say that you have Immune System Cancer (ISC). ISC is a dreadful disease that well... turns your white blood cells into tumours. If ISC goes unnoticed the tumours grow so large that they make the infected spontaneously explode in a very painful death. Fortunately for you, you do know about it and you can be able to prolong the inevitable (Because if you don't die of something else first, you will spontaneously explode.) In order to help prolong the inevitable I have made a list of dos and don'ts

Do...

... become fat. A larger body can hold larger tumours. Now this may bring up other help problems, but you'll probably spontaneously explode before that will be much of a problem

... get sick a lot. While they are tumours white blood cells still do their job. Well they fight off germs they won't grow. And if the germs are particularly bad, they might make the white blood cells shrink a little. You can get sick and become fat at the same time. Just make sure all the fatty foods you eat are particularly dirty and infested with germs.

Don't...

... get AIDS. You think that since AIDS weakens normal immune system it would weaken infected ones. This however is not the case. In actuality the HIV mimics the white blood cells and becomes tumours. This results in near instant explosion

... become anerexic. Since this is the direct oppisite of "Do become fat." I don't need to say much. Just don't do it.